The Chains That Free Us

By Liz Mierzejewski

 

We are born into a relationship of directives. We immediately have our every choice deflected or encouraged. With no other options, we don’t even realize we are captives, because these captors, these rulers who decide when we sleep, when we eat, love us so desperately they are bound to us even as we are bound to them. Such is being parent and child. As we find our voice and explore our autonomy, our parents give us the freedom and grace to make discoveries and mistakes, all the while sharing advice hoping we will grab that too.

 

Our parents’ advice becomes a cornerstone of personal development, shaping values, decisions, and character. “Eat a few more bites.” “Find your shoes.” “Leave the cat alone.” These words are meant to keep us healthy, happy and safe. And mostly, these words are based on their own experience. The food now will keep you focused and healthy until the next meal. With your shoes, we can go for that walk. The cat will only tolerate your nonsense for a moment.

 

We mature in mind and body, and the words from our parents become strangely ridiculous and unnecessary. “You need to finish your homework.” “Be home by 11:00.” “Come to church with us.” We do not want to be fettered to these captors any longer, being so unreasonable. Sometimes we listen, but not because THEY said so, but because we think so, right? Maybe there are short-term consequences, but we are resilient, and we will be JUST FINE, thank you very much. Little do we realize, but there are often long-term, obscured and permanent results from following or not following advice. Maybe you get the A, and the college scholarship, maybe not. Or you get home safely rather than pulled over for curfew violations. That one time when your heart was ripe for the Message, you hear it or… you’ve slept in and it’s gone for this time.

 

And then just as suddenly, parental advice makes sense again. They’ve finally come to their senses and have real wisdom, coincidentally just as we need to hear it. “Listen to your gut.” “Save money every payday.” “Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty.” Practical and with a positive pay-off. Where was all this magical advice before? Took them a while to get here, certainly wasn’t me. They’ve learned their place not as captors, but wizened fellow travelers.

 

It may come as a shock, but the Bible is surprisingly modern on the issue of parenting advice.

Proverbs says that parental instruction is a “garland” and “chain” that adorns life with dignity and protection. It also states that early guidance creates a lasting moral and practical framework, and that parental advice is spiritually enriching, aligning with faith and eternal values. Additionally, choosing friends wisely: “Avoid bad company” (Proverbs 22:24-25) to protect us from toxic influences. Proverbs 4:1-4 emphasizes passing down wisdom as a covenantal act.

 

Whoa. Okay, so maybe they weren’t just being captors or annoying, but were living out an intrinsic covenant to raise their children well.

 

And then we become parents ourselves. We get it now. Now we hear Ephesians 6:4 telling us that we must balance parenting with discipline, love, and spiritual grounding. And our parents’ words find their way back: “Eat a few more bites.” “Find your shoes.” “Leave the cat alone.” “You need to finish your homework.” “Be home by 11:00.” “Come to church with us.” “Listen to your gut.” “Save money every payday.” “Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty.” 

 

All I can say now, is just wait until you’re a grandparent. We are no longer the jailors, the captors, the wardens of food and fun. The fun advice starts here: "It's always better to let it out than to keep it in.” "A little dirt never killed ya." “Pull my finger.” And always, always, always, “be nice to the cat.”

 

Three Words

By: Liz Mierzejewski


What words do you use to describe yourself when you meet someone new, or in moments of self-reflection?

Often, the human tendency is define ourselves by achievements, roles, struggles, or societal labels. But hold on… We may not be doing it right. We are limited in our perspective, limited in our ability to see ourselves. We can only look through our own eyes, one moment at a time, which means our words are bound to those limitations. Even more so, our self-descriptions are often incomplete or distorted by Sin, Pride, or Shame. Those are Three Words we might hear from an Accuser, or an Enemy, or ourselves. Jeremiah pointed this out saying, “The heart is deceitful above all things.”

 

And we are not the first generation to struggle with such self-perception. Not by a long shot.

 

Let’s start with Moses. For someone with two powerful family stories, he had quite a humble view of himself. He was certainly conflicted, with one allegiance to the Jews, and another to his adopted family of pharaoh’s daughter. And God told Moses to speak, as if God wasn’t aware of Moses’ precarious family position or his probable speech impediment. Moses was reluctant, and felt inadequate to lead his people out of bondage, saying, “I am slow of speech and tongue.” God’s description? Moses was the chosen leader, empowered by God to deliver Israel.

 

Gideon described himself as weak and insignificant, saying, “My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” Was Gideon wrong? Through human eyes, it seems not. By all worldly standards he could not roster enough soldiers to accomplish what he was being drafted to do. And yet God describes Gideon as a “Mighty warrior” whom He uses to save Israel.

 

And let’s not forget David, complicated and deeply human. At times, he was overwhelmed by guilt and sin, as seen in Psalm 51:3 saying, “My sin is always before me”. And he had stacked up myriad atrocities to earn this badge. Murder, infidelity, lying, pride. There was no available sacrifice for murder or sexual sin, so David was right in that his sin was always before him. But even in the depths of his despair and the full weight of his sin upon him, Yahweh saw David as “A man after God’s own heart.”

 

The apostle Paul was initially proud as a Pharisee, highly educated, well esteemed among the Pharisees and other Jewish leaders. He oversaw and directed the persecution of the early Christians. After a profound encounter with Jesus, he claimed that he was “the worst of sinners.” And still, Jesus used him to spread the Gospel to the world.

 

See what God is doing there? When we see weakness, He supplies strength. He equips those He calls, despite their limitations. He offers grace when we suffer failures. God transforms even the most unlikely into vessels for His glory. He takes our words and gives us new ones.

 

We are created in His image.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

We are chosen, loved, and redeemed.

We are called to His purpose.

 

Those are some powerful descriptions. And they all rest on who Jesus is. And His three Words?

 

The Way. The Truth. The life.  Those are Three Words I can believe in.

 

Personal Change: Aligning with God’s Will

By Liz Mierzejewski


“I’ll never be good enough.”

“I wish I could just stop this bad habit.”

“God loves me just the way I am, so I don’t need to change.”

 

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. Even the most confident among us has struggled with doubt, frustration, and inevitability. We cannot avoid change; it happens whether we agree to it or not. And being willing and open to addressing those changes with purposeful changes of our own can and will make our path more meaningful and satisfying.

 

So, from where do we take our beats for how to change, and what to change? There’s more self-help books, videos and podcasts now about self-improvement than could possibly be numbered, both secular and Christian. Wise words can be found under both umbrellas, so the practices of discernment and moderation (good changes all by themselves!) can help us make those choices. Good on you for being present for the opportunity!

 

When considering what a person might want to change about themselves, a godly perspective shifts the focus from self-driven desires to His transformative purpose. Secular culture often emphasizes personal change through self-improvement trends—think fitness goals, productivity hacks, or mindfulness practices. While these pursuits can be valuable, they frequently center on external achievements or self-defined ideals of success, which may not align with the biblical imperative of change that prioritizes spiritual growth and alignment with God’s will. (Although they certainly can.)

 

Paul addresses how the desire for change begins with recognizing our need for God’s transformative power. In Romans 12:2 he writes, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Paul is clear that true change isn’t about conforming to societal standards but about a deep, internal renewal that aligns our thoughts and actions with God’s purpose. Secular ideas often focus on surface-level fixes—like improving self-esteem through affirmations—but the Bible calls for a heart-level transformation that only God can orchestrate. I mean, next level, right? The loving scrutiny of God holds great expectations of discipline, true love for God, and taking your own life as seriously as God does.

 

One common secular goal is the pursuit of personal happiness through material success or self-fulfillment. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be happy, this focus can lead to a self-centered approach to change, where the goal is to feel good rather than to be good in God’s eyes. Galatians 5:22-23 offers a different standard: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” These qualities reflect what God wants to cultivate in us. A Christian seeking change might ask, “How can I grow in love or patience?” rather than “How can I achieve more for myself?” The secular mindset often misses this, prioritizing personal gain over spiritual fruit.

 

These world view perspectives also diverge in addressing flaws like anger or pride. Secular self-help might suggest managing anger through techniques like deep breathing or journaling, which can be helpful but often stop at behavior modification. The Bible, however, calls for a deeper change. Ephesians 4:31-32 urges, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” God’s desire isn’t just to manage our sin but to remove it entirely, replacing it with virtues like kindness and forgiveness that reflect Christ’s character.

 

Ultimately, our approach to change is rooted in surrender to God’s will, not in self-reliance. While secular culture often champions autonomy—“You can be whoever you want to be”—the Bible teaches that true transformation comes through dependence on God. Paul, in 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” This promise reminds us that God is the author of lasting change, reshaping us into who He created us to be, far beyond what secular methods can achieve.

 

New Creation. That sounds pretty good.